Out of the Ashes

My heart has heard you say come, and I am coming . Higher, deeper, I see myself climbing the tree of life. I see Him- high and lifted up. Father, you have great plans. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me. Plans for a higher perspective where I can SEE, and SEE clearly.   From up here, I can see as you see, The vastness, the greatness, the beauty, the lost, the broken, the hurting, the places that still need someone to go… I can see. My heart aches with you father.   I see it… I see those you call me to, The villages, the people, the women, the children, the shop keepers, The ones that still have not heard.   I see… Father, from this perspective, I ask you, “And what am I to do?’ He says clearly as he point, “that one”. Go talk to that one. One at a time, Day by day, As I lead and point out, “that one”- go! If everyone I called “that one” to would go and speak and share The work would be done quicker.   Ask th...

The cultural adjustment continues as I learn to navigate the road of requests and needs presented to me daily. I have never had anyone ask me for shoes before until coming to India. Even the poor in American have decent shoes most of the time.  Here, weekly I am presented with the dilemma of children and workers asking me for shoes. My heart throbs as they ask.  I want to give each one new shoes. I see their need even when they don’t ask.  I see their bare feet in the cold 30 degree weather. I see their toes peeking out of the holes in their shoes. My heart throbs and I cry out, “Father, I don’t know what to do? I can’t afford shoes for each person that comes to my door. If I give to one boy, what about the other 5 boys   that he walks with each day?   What about his family back home who also need shoes. What about the village he returns to.   What should I do?” I am reminded of the verses the big book has to say about giving.   It is better ...

Yesterday was a rough day.   The build up of the thought I would be able to Skype friends and family this week (Week of Christmas) and have working internet was so high that when it didn’t happen my expectations came crashing to the ground, along with my heart and emotions. Despair is a real thing.   It can happen in sickness, in circumstances, in hardship, and even in the little day to day things, like going without internet. I sat listening to the lyrics to the song, “Nothing is Wasted” by Elevation worship. It’s so true.   He can work all things together for good, and USE all things.   So I asked, “Dad, what are you doing in this one? In this moment?   What is there to learn?   How can these feelings of despair not be wasted.” Dad then spoke something I wasn’t expecting... He said, “Didi, for years, for centuries, people left their fathers and mothers, and families and friends to go to unseen lands to share my truth.   They left all ...

Sometimes we think the grass is greener on the other side, we live with complaints or jealousy or bitterness, until we finally get to experience the grass on the other side and we realize, it was just the shadow of the fence that made it seem greener. It is just as dry and hard as our side, maybe just in different ways.   I am learning to take what I have here and be thankful; to live in an attitude of gratefulness.   I have so much.   Some days are hard. Some days are easer than others, but everyday my life is easier than someone else’s.   My life is blessed, and my Father is with me.   This alone, relationship and knowledge of the Father, makes my life blessed. Today as I sit in a crowded area and have hundreds of people staring at my, I shift with discomfort, but I am reminded there are millions that live in my shoes who have it far worse. They face persecution and threats.   Here I simply am stared at. I am...

Fear is a tricky thing.  It trinkles in almost unknowingly, and sinks deep fast.  We rarely can identify fear as quickly as we see the signs of it. I have been seeing the Lord pinpoint fear to me almost daily.   It would be easy to give way to it, but when we fear we are not trusting in HIM.   Trust, true abandoned trust in the Lord, leaves no room for fear. He says, “Fear not, do not be dismayed.”   He is our Lord and there is no other.   He alone is able.   What is impossible for man, (for this world) is not impossible with Him.   Nothing is impossible with him.   He is completely “otherly” as my one friend Vivian would say. He is not limited to our plans or abilities, nor is he limited to the statistics and history of the past.   He is entirely otherly, outside this world. I find myself rushing to fill water bottles when we have electricity and water, worry I won’t have enough water.   I find myself conserving paper and...