Out of the Ashes

Training to be a Lion Tamer *This post was written about 2 weeks ago- I am just delayed in posting it* I haven’t updated for a while; I am sorry. Life has changed quite a bit. In coming home, I have had more hours to think and pray than I could have ever asked for. I have also had the blessing of the great counsel of pastors and leaders and the Holy Spirit himself speaking into my life. It was with much time and prayer that I made the decision to resign from my current company and return to India under another avenue to pursue work. (You should have received this update via email and my November newsletter.) Change can be intimidating. Sickness and a heart problem can be intimidating. Unknowns and future uncertainties can be intimidating. My doctor has been very positive about my health and his belief that within a few months I will be symptom free and back to my “normal” life and routine.   Today, I still have to rest quite a bit, and while I am feeling better than I ...

God has been working for sure!!! I have seen strength and improvement in my health, and I also felt a shift this past week in my spirit. I felt like the Lord told me to walk in faith in my healing and to believe for it. Since Thursday I have seen drastic improvements.  I also saw the doctor again this week and he was very pleased with the progress I have made in the last month. From the medical perspective He is hopeful that within another 6-8 weeks I will be back to myself again and able to return to India. Spiritually speaking I believe the healing has come, and I need to continue strengthening myself physically with rehabilitation and physical therapy which I am doing daily. The doctor encouraged me that though my heart rate greatly increases to abnormal ranges during therapy, the physical therapy will eventually recondition the heart to beat at a normal pace and I can continue to push myself onward. Praise the Lord! (Rev. 12:11)  I am happy to share of the testimony of ...

I am thankful for the many notes, messages, prayers, and care over the past few weeks. Yesterday marked one month since being admitted to the hospital in India. I have had some really rough days, but I have seen the grace of God and incredible improvements in the last week. My blood pressure seems to be finding some stability on the medication I am taking, and is no longer dropping. My pulse rate continues to fluctuate and symptoms come and go throughout the day. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or rhyme to when this happens right now. Some days I can stand and walk without much difficulty, while other days bring faintness and heart palpitations. The doctor said this is all normal with this syndrome. Our hope and prayer is that within the next month, I will continue to see even more stability with my pulse as well as my blood pressure. The good news is I am much stronger than I was when I first left the hospital and returned home. I am able to walk without help, and yesterday I ev...

The power of assumption. One of the things I am learning from this lounge chair season is the way I assume things: things about myself, God, and others.  I am finding out quickly how others do the same.  I guess this is a very natural thing, but you know what they say about assumptions. Why don’t we ask people questions?   Why don’t we ask God things first? The other day I got my very first opportunity to ride one of those nifty electronic wheelchairs with the little cart on the front. I was visiting the local Target for some much needed necessities. It was the first time I had gone to a store since coming home.   Besides doctor appointments and a funeral, and one attempt to visit church, I hadn’t really left the house. My heart rate wasn’t at a place to really be able to stand and walk long enough to get my essentials, so my mom and I decided for me to use a wheelchair. I had always wanted to ride one of those motorized wheelchairs. It looked fun. It w...

This medical leave has been more than just a time of recuperation on a medical level. It’s been a time of deep learning and insight and an infilling of wisdom from God. While these aren’t amazing stories of God’s work on the “field of India”, allow me share the amazing stories of God’s work on the field of my heart. Since arriving home there have been many family members and friends who have lost loved ones to death or are awaiting the death of close loved ones. Most of them have lost these loved ones suddenly. One found out they had a brain tumor and 3 weeks later died. One had a baby and 10 weeks later committed suicide. One was diagnosed with cancer and days later passed away. One is awaiting death as I type. Although my own situation pales in comparison to these great losses and suffering, it along with these other deaths has reminded me of the frailty of human life, the frailty of the things we take for granted on a very regular basis. Things like walking, talking, worki...

I haven't updated in about a month and I am not even sure where to begin. After weeks in bed and struggling physically; a six day hospital stay; and a transition to medical leave and coming to the States, I feel my whole life has been a bit undone. This isn't what I expected to happen. I expected to feel better, be back on my feet and be running, trekking back to the villages, and visiting my families I invest in each week.  I didn't expect this diagnosis of POTS. I didn't expect my doctor to tell me some people live their whole lives with these symptoms. I didn't expect this.  This medical leave isn't something I wanted or asked for. People keep asking me how I am "enjoying" America. I have resented that question. I can't leave my bed some days. I can hardly sit up or walk most days. My symptoms come in waves that at times leave me breathless and speechless and deeply frustrated. Everything I love to do I haven't been able to do. I l...