Lessons from the Lounge Chair #2

The power of assumption. One of the things I am learning from this lounge chair season is the way I assume things: things about myself, God, and others.  I am finding out quickly how others do the same.  I guess this is a very natural thing, but you know what they say about assumptions.

Why don’t we ask people questions?  Why don’t we ask God things first?

The other day I got my very first opportunity to ride one of those nifty electronic wheelchairs with the little cart on the front. I was visiting the local Target for some much needed necessities. It was the first time I had gone to a store since coming home.  Besides doctor appointments and a funeral, and one attempt to visit church, I hadn’t really left the house. My heart rate wasn’t at a place to really be able to stand and walk long enough to get my essentials, so my mom and I decided for me to use a wheelchair.

I had always wanted to ride one of those motorized wheelchairs. It looked fun. It wasn’t until I was riding in it that I realized the snail-pace it moved, the obnoxious alarm it rings when you have to back up, and the many, many stares that come with riding it. Needless to say, my experience didn’t live up to my assumption about the “fun motorized wheelchair.” I did get a good laugh in as I rammed into racks and hit corners, and did a less than stellar driving job in the little vehicle. Laughter is good medicine, and being able to get out of the house and go to the store was liberating.

As I drove up to the check-out line, the clerk took my items for purchase and rang me up. As he handed me my bag he said, “I hope you feel better soon!” I was appreciative of his comment, but I thought how interesting it was that he assumed I was just sick. He didn’t ask me any questions. For all He knew I could have had an accident, and been partially paralyzed and needed a wheelchair for the rest of my life. I thought about the many others who have to use a wheelchair and how they must feel with the stares and comments they face on probably a weekly basis. I thought about assumptions.

Others have called to check in on me and see how I am doing. They ask things like, “what have you been up to?” or “what are you doing these days?”  When I answer of my inability to do much and my laying in bed or on the couch, they respond with surprise, “OH! I didn’t know you were that bad. I didn’t know you couldn’t walk.”  They have assumed.

I assume too. I do it a lot now that I think about it. I assume things about family and friends. I assume things about my day and time. I assume things about my future. I even assume things about God and myself. Sometimes, I assume most people will understand what I am thinking, and then they don’t. I assume people will come through with their promises, and then they don’t. I assume lies about myself, like something is wrong with me and therefore I am the cause of a problem. I assume I can’t do things like the big box jumps in crossfit class and therefore I stop trying.

I immediately assume bad things that come into my life are an “enemy attack” without first asking God what He wants me to know about the situation. It’s not that this thinking is always wrong, but it’s an assumption. My first response should be a question. God what do you want me to know about this situation?  Show me any offensive way in me, Father. What do you want me to learn through this trial? (James 1) If I just start “fighting” the enemy or even my own flesh and thoughts, I might miss what God is trying to do through the situation, something maybe He didn’t create, but something He allowed.

Assumptions have a potential to be quite damaging. I sometimes assume those around me are doing well, when in fact I never asked and maybe they are struggling. Have you ever had a friend who was struggling?  You find out and think to yourself,  “I had no idea!”  But, have we even asked the friend? 

Assumptions and judgments go hand in hand I think. Sometimes I think people know the Father God. Sometimes I think others don’t. I assume they need to hear about Him. I assume they are hard hearted or lost. I make assumptions that shape my approach to talk with them. I do this sometimes without ever asking them questions and sometimes without even asking God. That’s scary.

I think about the Christian circles some of us live in as believers. It’s a dangerous place sometimes. Assumptions and judgments fly without even a question. (1 Peter 2)

I realize even as I type this, some could say, I am assuming that others assume. I guess the reality is it does happen, and in the last few weeks I have felt those assumptions and I have made them too.

Perhaps the power of assumptions could be overcome by the simplicity of the power of a question, “Jesus help me. I need to get the log out of my eye. Help me to seek you first, to ask you questions, and to ask others questions before I try to help them.  Help me to think like Christ, seeking like Jesus to know what the Father is doing and do as He does, in my own life and as I walk in this life with others. Help me to ask questions and gain clarity rather than assuming and judging others.”