Out of the Ashes

I'd be lying if I said everything has been okay.  It's been a struggle the last few weeks. I am in a process of understanding expectations to a new degree. Expectations and grief they often go hand in hand.   So often we have our heart set on something, or we expect something with such intensity, it’s as if it has already happened. We make things a done deal in our thoughts.   We think, “My friend will come and together we can have a nice relaxing weekend”.   But then the friend gets sick and doesn’t show up, and someone knocks at the door and unexpectedly comes in.   It’s not what we thought.   We think, “Surely that person will be able to help me”.   But in reality the person can’t meet our needs. We think, “Of course I can complete all this work in a few hours”, but in the end we only accomplish one out of the ten things on our list of things to do.   We think, “I am sure this concert is going to be amazing”, but the sound bounces of...

Recently, as I looked out over the valley at the thousands and thousands of homes nestled into the mountainside, I was overwhelmed with the job at hand. I gently felt the Father say to me, “Am I enough for you?” Immediately, the truth resonated in my spirit, and I heard Him say, “If I am enough for you, I am enough for them too.” He is so faithful. Sometimes I just need a reminder…He is enough for me. He is enough for the job at hand. This picture shows the false horizon line that comes in the winter months. It's called the Winter Line. It's breathtaking and beautiful!  The city I am located in as well as a city in Switzerland are supposedly the only cities in the world where this line can be seen.

The culmination of the first year brought many changes and decisions for the future- where to live, what work would look like, and more. I thought moving to India was hard. I thought adjusting to life here was hard. The decisions and changes I have made in the last month have probably been the hardest decisions of my life.   Sometimes G*d doesn’t always hand feed us the next decisions in life. Sometimes He gives us choices and says, “You choose!”   He gives us free will and choice and says, “Follow me”.   As humans we want all the answers. We want clarity into the future and all the facts. We want to play judge and decide right and wrong, good and bad. We want to play prophet and read into the future. We want our ways, and His too. Sometimes there comes a point where we don’t have all the answers, and we don't get out way, but we simply have a choice to the questions He asks, “Will you trust me?”   I am in a season of feeling like an ant that...