Hard Days

The last few months, and if I am honest the last year, have been difficult.

My health has been up and down and I have had terrible stomach issues since February. Pain, Nausea, and more. I recently went to Thailand for some health check ups. I was expecting to hear I had a parasite; instead all my reports came back clear. What I wasn’t expecting was for my doctor to tell me, she thought I had skin cancer. She was so sure that before she even did the biopsy she told me I needed to extend my stay and wait in Thailand until the results and treatment could be decided. This is not what I was expecting.

Thank God all the results came back benign and I was able to return later than expected, but safely to India.  Since returning to India, my stomach issues have seemingly returned and with it sharp pain, dizziness, and fever. As you can imagine these months of on-going sickness make it hard for me to go about my daily life and work, and especially trekking to the villages.

There have been many, many emotional circumstances that I wasn’t anticipating that have also come as a surprise in the last year. Friends and loved ones who are struggling, loss, death, sickness, spiritual warfare, hardship surrounding cultural adjustments, more, and me.

Expectations are huge and when they fall short, the space between reality and our anticipations leaves a gap to be filled with either sorrow or anger usually. I can honestly say I have battled both. This past year was not what I was expecting. It was hard and difficult, and yet in many ways it was more than I was expecting.

I have met incredible people; been adopted into so many families; seen the love of JC poured out over me and into me by people who don’t even yet have a relationship with him. I have seen people come to know the Father and choose a relationship with him. I have watched the eyes of people who have never heard of JC come to know of the hope founded in him. I have seen people be set free and radically delivered of demons. I have seen this and more. While I could hope for these things, God has gone above and beyond meeting my expectations. The hardship of being away from home and facing struggles is nothing in comparison to the all-surpassing glory of God revealed in me and around me. I can truly say God is worth my all.  God amazes me, and His presence sets my heart in line with His truth and wipes away the pain and frustrations of unmet expectations.

On hard days I, like David, “remind myself” of God’s goodness. I tell myself of his faithfulness. I remind myself of all God has already done. I worship him for what I see in those around me and the amazing miracles of His love and faithfulness. I can sing because He is good and worthy of my praise. In these hard days, I find real, true, and lasting hope in the King of Kings and the love of JC.  I find this hope for myself, and I find it for those I love that are struggling around me. God IS enough and he will supply all my needs, all their needs. He is good, and we can trust him, even on hard days.

Please join me in prayer as I seek the L*rd and doctors for wisdom and discernment into what the root cause of my health issues. Join me in worshiping the King for all he has done, and is doing, and that yet to come. Join me in asking for words and the HS anointing to share this hope and truth with those around me that also desperately need the hope of the Good News.  Hard days can become glorifying days if we set our hope in Him.