What's My Name?

Sunday began a serious of revelations from the Lord for me. I share this, long as it is, because I don’t think I am the only one that needs to hear it.

I was speaking at a church with an Italian pastor. He was delighted to introduce me, because he knew how to pronounce my name. He kept saying it over and over again. It flowed off his lips naturally.  He was saying it with the proper Italian pronunciation.  My family pronounces it the American way.  I thought to myself, “I don’t even know how to say my own name.”  The Lord spoke to me so clearly it was like a loud speaker: “I know your name!”

 I heard the song by Israel, “He Knows My Name”

I have a Maker, 
He formed my heart
 before even time began, 
my life was in his hands


He knows my name
, he knows my every thought, 
he sees each tear that falls
, and hears me when I call


I have a father,
he calls me his own, 
he'll never leave me 
no matter where I go

He knows my name
, he knows my every thought
, he sees each tear that falls
, and hears me when I call

God reminded me that before I was born, he gave my name to my mother. After I was born, he gave her a song she would sing over me- “Christina Maria born to live in God’s world, born to live for him. Christina Maria Precious gift from God.”  It hit me- He knows my name!  He knows it.  He knows me!

Clearly, I hadn’t gotten the fullness of what God has, so he added to this theme.  He reminded me that so often we feel like we are “not good enough”.  You hear people say it all the time; I too say it.

I asked myself what does this look like God, this belief, “ I am not good enough.”  Jesus showed me a picture of a small boy I used to teach in the classroom. He was much smaller than the other kids, scrawny and bony. He had some learning disabilities and often was left out.  Jesus said, “The other kids treated him different. He was treated like he was ‘less than’.” He felt alone, broken, and “not good enough”.  But in the next moment, I saw Jesus come to his rescue. He was not alone. Jesus swooped him up and took him into heavenly places, to a banquet table. Jesus honored him; He seated him at the highest place of honor at the table. He dressed him in garments of love.  Jesus took the child to the Father God.

The child felt so undeserving.  God said, “You are to forget the past”.  He wiped the child’s brain clear.  He instilled in the child a new brain, a new mind, and a new identity. He gave the child a new name.

It was a clear picture.  The child was given a whole new identity. When I taught 5^th grade, I had a student one year that had been given a new name and identity, new colored eyes, etc. as a result of a very abusive father.  I learned a lot about identity that year.

People that get a new identity are not the same person. Quite literally, it changes everything. So in this image with the boy that felt “not good enough”, God was removing the old, the pain, the hurts, the hurtful words, the negative emotions, and giving the child a new identity.

God spoke truth over the child: “You are loved. You are strong. You are wise. You are kind. You love. I delight in you. You do not let me down. Though you might fail at doing things, you cannot fail at being my child. You are lovely. You are mine- one of my finest.

Father God then just sits with the child. He took him to point out the stars in the sky.  He said, “I call each one by name”. He explained each start in detail to the child.  He said, “I know them well”. The Father shared his secrets and His heart with the child. He shared rare stones with the child. This too blessed and delighted the Father to share with the child.

The Father spent time with the child, allowing him to learn His love.  He said it’s important that you learn your new identity.

We will never be “good enough” on our own, but when we learn who we are in Christ, we will be changed to live in our new identity, the old gone, the new life comes.

I heard God say, “My people need to learn their new name and identity so they can respond as the Father calls their name.”

We must know our inheritance and what it means to be a child of God.

Rev 2:17- He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, to him I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it.'

Eternity holds much promise. God calls us to the banquet table for the hidden manna- the food prepared for those He loves, and He also gives us a new name!

Again another song about names came on the radio. Happenstance? I think not. “I hear you, Lord!”

“Greater”—MercyMe

Bring your tired

Bring your shame

Bring your guilt

Bring your pain

Don’t you know that’s not you’re name

You will always be much more to me

Every day I wrestle with the voices

That keep telling me I’m not right

But that’s alright

‘Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed

When others say I’ll never be enough

And greater is the One living inside of me

Than he who is living in the world

In the world

In the world

And greater is the One living inside of me

Than he who is living in the world

Bring your doubts

Bring your fears

Bring your hurt

Bring your tears

There’ll be no condemnation here

You are holy, righteous and redeemed

Every time I fall

There’ll be those who will call me

A mistake

Well that’s ok

There’ll be days I lose the battle

Grace says that it doesn’t matter

‘Cause the cross already won the war

He’s Greater

He’s Greater

I am learning to run freely

Understanding just how He sees me

And it makes me love Him more and more

He’s Greater

He’s Greater

Again, Jesus wasn’t quite done teaching me with this theme. He reminded me that when someone is rescued and given a new identity. It’s not always easy. It’s much easier to go back to the old way of life, to repeat the old name they knew so well. It would be easier to just go back to the old identity, but then they would risk being found and potentially hurt again. They must change. They have to forget the old way, and accept a new way of life, a new identity. As a new creation in Christ Jesus we can’t give into the familiar, the old patterns, but we must fight for truth and righteousness and the new identity that has been given to us. It’s worth it. We must know our identity and our inheritance in Christ.

Jesus said, “I am not mad at you”.  I saw the same picture of the small puny boy at the banquet table, except at closer glance it was I that sat at the seat of honor.  It was I, as the Prodigal Son, the sinner sitting in the seat of Honor. (Luke 15- “and while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.) Jesus said again loud and clear, “I call you by name!”

He calls the sinner too, not just the hurt boy.  And God gives the sinner a new name and new identity.

“This is the pardon”, I hear Jesus say.

Wow- the weight of sin I felt in that moment was real, but the beauty of sacrifice was sweeter. This is huge. At the cross are forgiveness and healing and restoration. The cross is always about pardoning sin-- our sin and others sin.

1   Jesus forgives us for OUR sin at the cross.

2   Jesus heals and restores us from the sin of OTHERS at the cross as well.

Both are accomplished at the cross, and because of the sweet blood of Jesus, both the sinner and the broken can have a new name and a new identity in Christ.  Wholeness.  The emotional brokenness that comes from sin is removed.  The evil and vile things of this world is cleansed, the wretched sinner is pardoned and washed white as snow. The fall of man and the sin that has come is gone as far as the east is from the west. GONE. This is the hope of eternity --- Oneness with Christ Jesus and our Lord. No more pain, no more tears, no more sin. We have a new identity and we are sanctified through Christ Jesus.

And so I am left with this prayer today: “I am starting to get it, Jesus….slowly but surely.  Show me more.  I want more, Jesus. Speak clearly your words of truth over me.  Open my ears to hear the name you call me and the identity you give me.  Spirit, move me to walk forward, forgetting the past, straining towards what is ahead, not giving in familiar and easy, but straining on to obtain the prize. You are worth it all. Jesus, teach me of the cross, of the pardon of sin, and draw me closer into you today.  Make me life you, and give me the mind of Christ. I want to learn of my identity in Christ.  I am who I am because of you. I am the righteousness of Christ Jesus! Thank you, Lord!”